Certain Humourous axioms....

lets define:

certain.... SURE, unquestionable...

Humorous: full of, or characterized by humor,funny, or comical.

axiom: a self evident truth or principle

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SO i was sure that i could beat this MS/ depression thing... started my blog, alerted all my friends, posted on my favorite web site...grabbed a book, planned my day to keep busy, planned a day to visit mom..opened the curtain to let the sunshine in,. you know, all the things suggested to help keep your spirits high..

Woke up.. felt great... a little naggin in my back , but other wise fine...

DH came in about 7 am and we had coffee.. etc, then decided to go look at our room to see what we could do with all the scrapbooking shelves and tables, and how to rearrange our room so that it will all fit....Since he works nights and sleeps in the day, i decided to lay down and snuggle for a bit with him...turned over towards him and my back cracked like a huge limb on a tree in a storm.....UGH

OK...FINE... i will deal with it.. the pain is awful, but i have had worse...

Got in the shower, (that was supposed to help)..and can you believe that i dropped EVERYthing I HAD TO USE........razor,shampoo, conditioner, soap..????

i had to bend all the way down to get it....yes, i am only 5 feet and maybe 2 inches, but let me tell you, it is still a LONG way down........lol...

So i get all the shower thing done, and decide to come sit on the laptop for a few and enjoy some of the sun and plan the chores for the rest of the day.....have to keep the house clean and with 3 kids...

so i sat here at the table making my chores list..assigning chores...the sun is not srtong but it is early...

DD (dear daughter) wakes up crying with an ear ache, cross her name off the list... try to assign her chores between me and the boys..

My back keeps hurting, cross off a few unecessary items, who need to mop anyways??

BAck to the list.. laundry, mow, etc..

the sun that was shining a few min ago, has went behind a cloud..the silence is disturbed by a loud bang and the rain came down.....
mark off mowing and laundry... (dryer broke and lets help the enviroment as much as possible, at least untill winter, and hey save those dollars for cricut stuff and dr bills)..lol

So lets see... call mom, plan a visit,... mom is sick...some kind of intestinal virus, THAT i definatly don't want....cross that off the list...

Gather the boys, so that we can "speed clean"..get it all done asap, so we are free the rest of the day....

Logged on to my laptop , brought up my favorite web site, and YEP, you guessed it.. it is down for a few days, getting a new server.......UGH..logged off...

ok, lets scrapbook... now where is all MY STUFF???/ oh yeah.. bundled up in totes for the time being so it would not get ruint..fine lets dig it all out...may as well do something...

get it all out.. and get one page done. Mental alarm goes off...time to wake up DH , cook dinner, pack his lunch, make his stuff, feed the kids, etc....

do all that and it is time to put away ALL that scrapbook stuff....UGH...

send the kids to the pool for a little quite time....DD says no, her ear hurts.. grabbs a scrabble game.....Seriously?? at 6 pm??ok,no biggie... lets play.....I LOST to a 10 year old...doesn't matter that i spent all my energy making HER words.......LOL..

Boys come in... "UGH you played scrabble with her and not us?"...."no honey , i planned on playing a game with each of you.....".."ok lets' play".....

while i totally enjoy playing with the kids... why did it have to be scrabble? not only do i have what i call holes in my brain (lesions) i am tired, cranky, dissapointed about the day, worried that i am having a relapse, and that vacation is going to be a huge mess, bills, depression ,, etc...

SO i take my turn with each of the boys..( i lost both of these as well). at 10:15 pm we have finally got things cleaned up , all games played, teeth brushed, etc... Surrender the laptop to DS so he can play his fav game.. feed the dogs one more time, blah b;ah blah....

get changed settle in to bed, and grab my book... FINALLY, something i am looking forward to for just me.....like i said I LOVE playing with the kids...but i wanted something that required no menta or physical challenges.......to be laying in a prone position, with heating pad on my back...

The book, is one by an author i have read before with existing characters... so i am ready... can't wait to see what crime they are solving next... get a few pages in, and WAM......

reporter has what?? A disease...... he has to use cruches, and now he is in the hospital..... why is he in the hospital???... he was sitting at the desk in the news room and he went blind......

yes BLIND... in the blink of an eye......what caused this???

YOU GUESSED IT.......MS>>>>>>>>>. The one thing i am trying to get away from is sitting right htere in the book i was going to USE to get AWAY from it....the never ending thoughts of my own MS>.....................

and of all the things......... my biggest fear that can come with MS... BEING BLIND.......

i mean come on.....the ancient Greek's would have said it was a conspiracy of the GODS ... that they had done something to deserve this day.....i would have to agree but then i would be more depressed thinking of all the things i could that would explain what i had done to deserve it....

So i choose to look at it this way,

I have spent a day watching the angels cry (rain) for those that have it worse,

playing with my children,

even though i KNOW they had to be cheating.. i mean come on, i have a college degree , graduated with honors and the are only 10,12 and 15....and i LOST.. so i learned a valuable lesson.. MY CHILDREN CHEAT...watch them like hawks......

learning that the house doesn't have to be perfect...(like i did not already know that)...

remembering that there was life before the Internet..( fav site being down)

and choosing to think that instead of the Gods being against me, they are reminding me that i cannot hide from my problems... instead i have to face them head on and just hope that the things i see today ( and every day after) and somehow permanently etched in my brain... the smile on my DD face when she announced that she won...

the sly, waiting look on my sons face, when he was waiting for me to figure out that he had made the word FART on the board... and the joy on his little brothers face when he too seen the shock on my face when i read the word FART..........LOL....

and the very precious time i spent snuggling to DH... because if not for those moments, i would be lost.. that is my safety net when all else is this world is going wrong.. the place where i still feel the safest after all these years..where no matter the arguments, the fusses, the fears, he always lets me lay..where nothing else matters except hearing his heart beat and knowing that while he may not always understand, he is there...

this was after all a very great day.........

Stephanie